This past year of running (or not running) has been unbelievably hard. I could probably put the number of comfortable runs I’ve had as being in just double figures. Over the year I’ve experienced probably all the emotions possible to associate with being injured:
- Denial at being injured, continuing to train over the top of niggles. Trying to cheat my body that things haven’t been that bad.
- Anger at not being able to run. Anger at everyone who is running. Anger that I was missing training and my source of release.
- Regret at missing out on runs I know I would enjoy. Regret at pulling out of races I know I would have been thrilled to run if I had been truly fit.
- Immense sadness as the length of time not running continues to slip by.
The last few months has seen me moping and probably making some really bad decisions regarding running. I tried to continue via another form of training which in hindsight has probably compounded my injuries and prevented me from healing properly. The problem was that the elation I get from this other form of training is similar to the elation I get from running, and so I continued, even though it was probably making things worse.
Now though I feel like I’ve turned a corner. I’ve switched off the cry baby running side of my brain and forced it to listen to the Physio side of my brain. I’ve gone back to the basics of healing times, tissue loading and rehabilitation. I am aiming to get myself pain free and comfortable and build a better base for my running.
I can’t say I’m not panicking, after all I have marathon to run in April. Reading social media has also been hard as I read that other runners get frustrated by other runners who they see as ‘less committed’ or not putting in the ‘hard graft’. I even read someone suggest that there should be an air miles type solution to places in the London Marathon. All I can say to this is that I earned my place with my time and I do deserve to be there. I haven’t been running as much but I am working hard to get myself fit enough to train for April.
So I am working hard to keep the faith. I am working to make sure I will be there at the start line in April. In my wobbly moments I have considered withdrawing but after starting my new ‘get back to running’ mission I feel slightly more hopeful. I have always been committed to running and London will be a dream come true. Never doubt the commitment, passion or graft of the injured runner. We have to work that extra bit harder, physically and emotionally to get back on those trails.